Forgive yourself instead of weeping over lost chances

holland-mugshot-feb2018Someone said, “Our lives are defined by opportunities, including the ones we miss. Let us not weep over chances we have missed, but rather for the ones we did not take.”

When I look back over my life, I can see where I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I’ve missed out on some wonderful opportunities. Maybe you are saying the same thing. I encourage you to resist the temptation to live in regret.

We all make wrong choices, but at least our disappointment reveals that we care, and that’s a good thing. James Joyce said, “Mistakes are the portals of discovery,” and there is no doubt they can be a significant part of our learning process.

Living in denial is much easier than forgiving ourselves, but repentance is a more worthwhile endeavor than living with overwhelming guilt and condemnation. God’s plans and ways are bigger than our mistakes and lost opportunities. He can fill our life with confidence, hope and victory!

It’s common when suffering from regret to be reminded of certain individuals that we secretly blame for our failures. However, there is no need to hold on and replay the scenarios of what could have been – you’ve suffered enough. Walking around in this state of mind can lead to depression, anxiety and even physical health problems.

It would be wise to make a list of those we need to forgive and sincerely pray while making sure our name is at the top. Unforgiveness holds us in a spiritual and mental prison, and giving it over to God is the key that opens the door to freedom. We can choose to end our living in the misery of an unchangeable past.

Alice Walker said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they do not have any.” The Bible refers to the devil as the “the accuser” of the brethren, and this is where these negative voices are coming from.

I love what the Apostle Paul said, “This one thing I do; forgetting those things which are behind, I reach forth to the things which are before me.” He is encouraging us to not only concentrate on the present but also look to the future and be sensitive to new opportunities.

I believe our heavenly Father desires to restore the years that you’ve lost and give you a new vision and a fresh zeal to fulfill your destiny. Will you sincerely believe you are forgiven and accept the spiritual reality that you are worthy of His love?

Psalm 103:11-12 is one of the greatest promises about our security and is filled with the hope for all eternity. “For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

DR. BILLY HOLLAND lives in Central Kentucky with his wife Cheryl, where he is a Christian author and community chaplain. To learn about his free CD offer, visit