Pithy sayings capture wit and wisdom

By Robert McGowan

Robert McGowan

Robert McGowan

The following quotes are a few I have selected from a book titled, "The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said," copyright by Robert Byrne.

I thought you would be interested in the following, for your own references. (I will omit quotes.)

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. —Samuel Butler (1835-1912).

I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. — Woody Allen.

Egotist:  A person ... more interested in himself than in me. — Ambrose Bierce (1842-1910).

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. — H. L. Mencken (1880-1956).

Familiarity breeds attempt. — Good Ace (1899-1982).

It is better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life. — Irish proverb.

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. — Danny McGoorty (1901-1970).

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950).

Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. — George Fowler (1850-1960).

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain (1835-1910).

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. — Bill Cosby.

The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life. — Glenda Jackson.

I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true — Dorothy Parker (1893-1967).

It is easier to stay out than get out. — Mark Twain (1835-1910).

It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pity to get up. — Somerset Maugham (1874-1965).

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. — John F. Kennedy (1917-1963).

We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything. — Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931).

From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash. — Sophie Tucker (1884?-1966).

First secure an independent income then practice virtue. — Greek saying.

Talking with a man is like trying to saddle a cow. You work like hell, but what’s the point? — Gladys Upham

Everything I want is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. — Alexander Woolcott (1887-1943).

Come in, or we’ll both starve. — Sign in restaurant window.

Robert McGowan is a Bartlett resident and former professor of biology at the University of Memphis. Contact him at (901) 828-6039 or ellen1324@gmail.com.