Dear Bartlett Express,
As of late, I have observed a disturbing trend throughout the city. I am not sure what can be done about it but I feel something must be done. Petty and vindictive birds have been steeling from the elderly. This is not confined to one part of the city but is occurring downtown, midtown, as well as in the suburbs. Just yesterday, I observed one of these bird swoop down and steel an octogenarian’s hairpiece right off the top of his head! I worked with this dear man to try to find the offending bird and bring him to justice, however we were unsuccessful. On another occasion, I saw two birds, one black in color and the other gray in color, take a sandwich from a sweet old lady who was just trying to enjoy lunch along the river.
Our elderly at the mercy of these petty and vindictive birds! I have attempted to help those I could regain their items. I have even attempted to have a conversation with some of these birds and implored them to see the error of their ways. My attempts have failed. I am but one person. I call upon the citizens of Bartlett to start working together to help our elderly. We must try to reach the petty and vindictive birds and turn them from their thieving ways. Perhaps we can find alternative outlets for them such as painting or writing poetry. If we work together as a community, we can make a change in the lives of these birds!